"Here, in the produce aisle, we observe the little creature in its natural habitat…"
Habitat: the grocery cart, the car seat, the back pew. Diet: crackers, mostly.
Never needs a tissue. Has a sleeve.
Seen around 4pm. Shy around wipes.
Produces one perfect bubble per sneeze.
Works exclusively on car windows.
Self-nominations only. Grown-ups: confess your own goober moment. (Spinach in teeth through a whole meeting? You may be a finalist.)